The virus has clobbered everybody, including the gambling casinos in Las Vegas where the unemployment rate in April was 28%. Most of the time, Vegas is untouchable with 3 million visitors a month. A billion dollars in revenue is gambled every 3 months. They can’t spell the word ‘recession.’ Over 30+ years in the Limo-Bus business, I’ve been to a lot of conventions in that hot town. I’m a big fan of the entertainment shows, but not the gambling and here’s why.

Las Vegas looks like the top of a birthday cake with neon lights. It’s the world’s biggest gambling mecca, and was built by losers, not winners. The winners are the ones who pass through this city and never gamble. The majority of people roll into this city with more hope in their heart than a southern tent revival. Casinos are loud. That steady hum you hear is a vacuum that sucks your money. Remember what P.T. Barnum said? — Slot machines are toilets without the flush sound.

Gambling has a romantic history: ‘Amarillo Slim’, ‘Bet a Million Gates’, ‘Titanic Thompson’…and here comes, ‘Two Bit Harry.’ The first time a person bets, they bet to win. The rest of the time they are just trying to get even. Gambling is a mistress that lures you in and sucks your money. You really can’t get a good look at her. The lights are too bright and the noise drowns out your conscience. When she walks by you can smell her. You’re attracted…an easy mark. You snuggle up close to the green felt table, pull out a hundred dollar bill that the dealer crams down the slot and hands you a little ‘candy’ in exchange. It feels good, but you’ll never get kissed.

The best gambling stories are about someone else. The sucker sitting next to you who lost 10 G’s in one hour. That’s YOU if you win, and stay long enough. People who own casinos think it’s wrong to allow suckers to keep their money. Hang around long enough and you’ll hear a panic stricken husband’s dialogue with his wife…”Give me that money I told you not to give me.”

Me and David at Caesar’s Palace
Fun at Mandalay Bay
Me, a mime, and my mustache at the MGM Grand
The beautiful Bellagio

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